Rev3 Quassy

"Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance." ~unknown

I received the quote above in my daily "Tiny Buddha" email when I was at the airport flying back to California after Rev3 Quassy. It was appropriate given my feelings about my race on Sunday. It is no secret that my biking is one of the more challenging aspects of triathlon for me. It frustrates me to come off the bike 15+ minutes behind. However, I do not shy away from putting myself in situations where I could (and usually do) end up WAY behind the leaders after a challenging 56 mile bike. In the end, I believe it will make me figure out how to get better. I may never bike as fast as some, but I know I can be faster than I am now. However, I need to remember to revel in this journey and while some work may come to fruition quickly, other things may take awhile to mature. Here in Napa wine sits in barrels for a long time before it is ready to drink so maybe my vintage is still fermenting :) 

New England Colonial...my homestay!

The quick version of the race: swim was flat (physically), I biked average and then I rallied and had a fairly solid run. I think the more interesting part of the day were the thoughts going through my head at some points during the bike ride. I told Andy that swimming races were nice because in a 1 minute race you don't have any time to think, you just swim. This is not so true during a 5 hour race. There is plenty of time to think and some of those thoughts can drive you crazy! Now, I am just being completely honest here. While negative thoughts did go through my head I deal with them by acknowledging they exist and then letting them go. I don't give myself some huge pep talk about how great everything is because then I am actually thinking about the negative thoughts more by trying to "fend" them off.

There were times I thought about quitting (more honesty), moments where it seemed like all the hard work was just a big waste of time. A lot of people might not even pay attention to my results, or give any thought to how I raced, but there were times on Sunday where I felt exposed. I felt like I was running around with my hopes and dreams right out there in the open for everyone to see. For some reason I felt like I was failing (at least on the bike) and everyone could see how badly it was going.

The Bike Course. A bit of shade, lots of hills.

More of the bike course. Beautiful.

I made it to the run and reveled in a new challenge on the day---conquering more hills and trying to run my way back into the race. I passed three girls early on and was kept honest the remainder of the run by Charisa who was running fast from behind. In the end, I moved up to 11th...about 1 minute out of 10th and just 3:39 behind 7th place. When I look at it like that, my result, even with its disappointments, was not too bad. I do hate being 11th place. You are the first out of the money and not listed post race articles.

All done!

After the race I was a bit down, slightly annoyed and frustrated. Luckily, Rev3 held the race at a small amusement park. Maik Twelsiek and I decided to get on the roller coaster for a little post race fun. The last time I was on a roller coaster was 15 years ago and I forgot what a blast it is. Riding that roller coaster put an instant smile on my face and was even more humorous with a German accented scream next to me!

Dinner with a former housemate from UM, Vanessa.

One of my favorites and right over the hill, Vineman 70.3, is next. More hard work to come...and I would not have it any other way.

Earning my Finish at Wildflower 2013

After my "failure to launch" the 2013 season at Escape from Alcatraz I was really looking forward to racing at Lake San Antonio. Interestingly, the result, or lack thereof, at Alcatraz made me more relaxed leading into the race. I train and race full time because I love it. Even when it does not go as I planned, I still look forward to doing it everyday. Of course, sometimes a four hour ride feels like crap from the first pedal stroke but I still get to give it a go. I always try to will my legs to come alive if they feel badly. Sometimes they do and sometimes I am still waiting for them to feel better when I pull back up to my house. So, as I prepared for Wildflower what I wanted most was the opportunity to get to the start line healthy and ready to race---much like I approach each day of training. I prepared, checked my equipment, got my nutrition ready and focused on doing the things I needed to do to have the best day I possibly could.

My three goals:

1. Enjoy the process
2. Finish
3. Race confidently and get through the tough times

The week of Wildflower was VERY hot. For the first time in history the race would be non-wetsuit for the pros. As a swimmer, I am usually very excited about this but since I had a new Roka wetsuit I was a bit bummed its debut would be postponed. Since I have a tendency to get cold easily (big surprise there) I did warm up in the wetsuit so I would not get cold standing around waiting for the start. Luckily, once you were in the sun it was warm even at 8am. It felt great in the moment but was an indication of how warm the day was going to end up. I ended up in a group of four but as the pace quickened around 400m in I started to lose some feet. I fought my way back up, got dropped and then saw them slowly slip away. Boo...not what I had hoped for but I stayed strong and did what I could to minimize a slowly growing gap. I had moments of frustration and got a little down on myself but then I would bring my focus back to the present and what I was doing. Towards the end I started to get cold (I know, SHOCKING) and was happy to reach the boat ramp and hop on my bike.

My plan was to put a little more effort into the first seven miles out of the park and then settle in at a solid pace. To be honest, I did not feel superb at the beginning of the bike. I still put in a good effort, got passed by a few fast chicks but stayed positive and focused on what I was doing. And, what was I doing??? DRINKING a lot! I sucked down just short of five bottles of Powerbar Perform and on course electrolyte drink. I figured if I wanted to run well in the searing heat I needed to hit the run hydrated. I had practiced this in training and the race was no different. I also visualized my training rides and how I felt during intervals on my bike. Another thing I did for no apparent reason---repeated the phrase "like a boss" to myself. For example, when I was riding well I was "like a boss." When I was having a bad moment, I thought, "not like a boss." I have NEVER used this phrase. Why it popped into my head during the bike segment is beyond me.

Once I hit Nasty Grade at mile 42 it was pretty warm. The climb is completely exposed and it was blazing hot. I reminded myself of climbs in Napa that I climb all the time in training, put my head down and got up it in as quickly as possible. It did not feel great. I was breathing hard and sweating a lot! I made it to the top, descended, spent five minutes after the descent getting rid of some lactic acid and then settled in for a hard effort back to T2.

I hopped off the bike and my legs felt okay. I repeated the word "patience" to myself over and over the first few miles of the run. I tried to relax, find my form, save energy going up the hills and take in fluids. Luckily, I felt pretty good on the hills. They were tough as usual but I was able to keep my effort under control as I climbed. Whenever I go uphill on the run I say "tick tick tick" in my head to keep my feet moving; it is like my metronome.  The key is not to go "tick (big pause) tick (big pause)" because then that is how your feet move! I passed a couple girls on the big hill from mile 4 to 5 and kept it rolling as I made my way back into the campgrounds. I did have a bad moment at this point and felt like I was getting the chills. I knew I had to problem solve my way out of it.  What did I need? I settled on slowing down just a touch at the next aide station to get a good amount of fluid and taking a Powergel. It worked. As the race wore on my solution to any problem became "eat a powergel." I also had the lyric from a country song (yes, I like country music) going through my head that says "you don't get nothing that you don't earn." The video is below if you want a musical accompaniment while reading this report. It might make it more interesting! And, the song is full on country. Just a warning--some might not like it!

I wanted to earn my finish at Wildflower. I knew it would be challenging. When you add the heat we had that day it was even more so. I had moments during the run when I asked myself why in the world I was putting myself through the pain. However, I knew I had trained for that pain. It was why I was doing it. I did not get the opportunity to put myself through the pain at Alcatraz and I think it was what disappointed me the most. As I was running through the campgrounds desperately trying to make up more time on those in front me I said to myself "yep, this is why I do it."

In the end, I finished 6th. A good result. I gave up too much time on the bike to a few in front of me so my challenge for the next race is to dig even deeper for those minutes.

Awards. I am on the right.

Wildflower is such an amazing weekend. There is something for everyone. When I was in T1 on Saturday racking my bike I heard them announcing the activities in the Kids' Zone for the day. Finger painting, scavenger hunts and more. How awesome is that?!?! Mom/Dad can race (or both since there are races on Sunday too), the kids can have fun during the race and they also get to camp for the weekend!  The race is competitive but it does not lose the grassroots feel to the entire weekend. I know there are other races and people have to make a living, but this event has existed for 31 years. It has helped all those other races develop. Without races like Wildflower, triathlon would not be what it is today. We have competing race organizations but ultimately, we all need to work together to grow the sport.

Escape from Alcatraz 2013

That is me on the far left (bum to camera). Photo: Nils Nilsen

Alcatraz--my favorite race. When it was announced it would be taking place on March 3 due to the America's Cup I was really worried about the cold.  I have had trouble with the cold in the past. I swore off Oceanside forever after 2010. However, I figured since the race was only an hour from my house I had to race it. I was hopeful that I would be able to handle the cold and I was happy because the weather forecast for the day seemed pretty good, especially given what it could be (rainy!).  I trained hard over the Napa "winter" and felt fit and ready to see what I was capable of on Sunday. I do not go into a race worrying about a certain place or who I can "beat." I have developed some confidence (always a work in progress) and know if I put together a solid race I will be up there in the results. I wanted to go out and have the opportunity to bury myself and see where it shook out in the end. Unfortunately, the end came sooner than I thought....

First, I knew the water was going to be shockingly cold. I dove off the boat and had a great start. I was swimming well. However, after a few minutes I started to lose those around me.  Maybe it was the chop (worst I have ever experienced in the bay) or the fact that I was unable to feel my arms at all but I felt like I began to slow down a bit.  I saw a group of pink caps to my right. At that point I told myself "no matter what, you HAVE to stay with this group." From that point on the only thoughts going through my head were one of the following options:

1. F**K, get me out of this water! I have never been so cold.
2. Spin your arms faster and kick you idiot.
3. Go away chop, I hate you. 

I made it to the beach and that made me very happy. I stood up and then fell down. I ran (shuffled?) to the three steps before the parking lot where they keep everyone's shoes. I put my hand on each step before I put my foot down to steady myself.  I ran as hard as I could to T1 and got passed a lot. I tried to pick it up and promptly fell in the chute heading to T1. I fumbled with my wetsuit for what felt like an eternity. I was able to mount my bike without incident and tried to hit the first few miles hard before starting the first climb. Putting my shoes on was quite an adventure and I was weaving all over the road. I climbed and descended and then did that a bit more. I was shivering the entire time. I made it to Golden Gate Park and continued to be unable to generate any body heat. A motorcycle went by and I tried to ask where I could get help but I did not make eye contact with them and they drove off.  I kept asking myself if I was just being a wimp for wanting to stop. Sometimes a bad bike can mean a good run...can't I just stick it out? I was also worried if I kept going I might crash or crash into someone else. My coordination was terrible and I could not ride straight. Ultimately, I was still wrestling with the decision but when I saw the paramedic truck my only instinct was to pull up next to it and utter the words that I rarely say because I am fiercely independent and stubborn---"I need help."

I was wrapped in blankets, the heat was blasted and I received a warm saline IV. I shivered so much my legs cramped. The paramedics told me I was smart for stopping but I was still questioning my decision. In fact, post race, a lot of people said I was smart. I hoped I was but part of me figured they were just saying that to be nice and really thought I was a big wimp since they had toughed it out. Even as I write this today I question whether I was really that cold.  What if....? Maybe...?

As usual, the sun rose today and I have started to heal from my DNF on Sunday. It will make me smarter, tougher and hungrier to reach my next start line and finish line. Good job to everyone who finished the race in such adverse conditions. I look forward to redemption, in JUNE, next year!

Descending

Since I started riding my bike in Chicago, the land of flat and straight, my descending skills when I first moved to California were absolutely terrible. I was scared and slow. The road right out of my house goes down for three miles and I used to get super nervous before I went to ride. All the hills to ride in Napa allow me to work on my descending each and every ride. I would not say I am an expert by any means but I have certainly improved from terrible. 

Howell Mountain. Steep and technical. The ascent is quite difficult but is only two miles.

Here are some tips that have helped me improve (warning: this list is not all inclusive, I am sure I have more to learn):

1. Look where you WANT to go and NOT where you don't want to go. Last year in Costa Rica we had to do several U-turns on small (ish) country roads with ditches on either side. All I could think was "don't go in the ditch, don't go in the ditch" and I starred at it while turning. Guess where I started to go? That's right, into the ditch! I had to unclip and restart---not pro! I find I can make much tighter turns if I look where I want to go.  I practice in my driveway.
2. Put weight on the inside hand and outside foot
3. Brake before a turn.  This tip helped me immensely.  When you brake going through a turn it automatically makes the bike want to sit up straight vs. leaning over through the turn.
4. Be confident but not stupid. My friend Aaron, an expert descender, once told me the bike does not like to crash so it will stay upright if you ride it correctly.
5. And, lastly, an Alcatraz specific pointer: It might be crowded on some of the descents so just chill. Don't be THAT person who goes outside the cones to get around people (very scary). It is an out and back course and others will be climbing up while you are descending. You can pass on the uphills or in Golden Gate Park.

Lastly, fast can be fun if you do it safely. Don't take unnecessary risks just to be a badass, it is not worth it!

It's Sad...

That is does not shock me in the least that players in major sports (NFL, MLB, etc.) are using PEDs which are now dispensed at "anti-aging clinics." For these people there are tens of millions of dollars at stake. The fact is, some people just do not give a s*#& and will do anything to get an edge. They will justify their decisions to themselves by saying others are doing the same and it is a level playing field but that is all a bunch of crap.

I mean, we have age groupers doping in Gran Fondos and to get to (and compete) at IM Kona. There is not even money at stake and people are willing to flat out cheat (and risk their health) for a faster finish time.  Hey there peeps, NO ONE gives a s*&^ if you went 9:30 or 10 hours...it is just your overblown ego that makes you think it is important.

And, while we are at it, Low Testosterone is not a medical condition.  It is aging. That is why you compete in age group categories against those who are at similar stages in their lives physiologically.

My point...work hard and play nice. People who take PEDs make me sick.

The Jaro Cat

I am a cat person.  When I was born my parents had Clio. She was a very smart black kitty with a hoarse meow. My parents had to move her across the country and apparently she meowed the entire way in the cargo area on the plane and her voice was never the same.

The first cat that I picked out was a little tabby from the barn where I went to ride horses.  I named him Toto because at the time The Wizard of Oz was my favorite movie.  Toto also became known as "tripod" because he lost one of his back legs in a very unfortunate accident.  It was during the winter in Michigan and he used to climb into car engines to get warm.  Well, our neighbor turned on the engine when he was in it and he lost his leg and a few toes on his other back foot. I remember walking home from school that day and seeing blood on the snow leading to our house. Luckily, he ran straight home and my mom was able to rush him to the vet. Our veterinarian, Dr. McClure did an amazing job saving his life.  When my mom told me what happened I replied "well, that's okay, his leg will grow back."  I was eight.  I still remember when he came home from the vet. We would have to carry him up and down the stairs at first and he would get these phantom pains where his leg used to be.  He recovered and proceeded to run (hop) around the neighborhood at astonishing speeds--no joke.  He lived to be nine before he got hit by a car...that was a very sad day.

We also had Godzilla...a stray that picked us when I was a teenager. My dad insisted on the name. I still remember him saying "you promised that I could name the next cat Godzilla." Godzilla had a knack for getting stuck in live traps and garages around the neighborhood.  If he did not come home at night we would walk around to everyone's garage to see if he was meowing inside. He was one of our sweetest kitties and luckily we had him around for 17 years.

Along with Godzilla we also had Fiona. She was a high strung, moody and slightly mean Siamese cat. We got her right after Toto passed away. My parents always say she was our "worst" cat. She was loving in her own way but would sometimes attack your ankles if you got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. She did trust us though. She knew we were there for her. One night she got a Jujubee candy stuck on her tooth. She came running back to my dad, opened her mouth and allowed him to reach in a get the candy off her tooth. Taking her to the vet was another story. She had notes in her file calling her aggressive and warning the veterinarian not to take her out of the her carrier. They used to just reach in, inject her vaccinations and that was it. She was never examined again after she attacked the veterinarian. True to her nature...she lived to be almost 20 years old. There was no quit in her.

Right now Andy and I have Storm and Jaromir (pronounced Yar-O-meer). Storm is gray like a storm cloud so that is how she got her name. Jaromir is named after Pittsburgh Penguin Jaromir Jagr, #68. Storm is extremely curious and runs toward a loud sound vs. away from it. Jaromir is the complete opposite and is your stereotypical "scaredy cat."

Jaromir

We just found out Jaromir has heart disease. We have put him on heart medicine in hopes it will make him feel better. It seems to have helped a little but dialing in the dosage has been tough. One of the medicines drops his blood pressure and it was too much at first and he fainted. I was not there but it was very scary. I want to make him feel better but I also want to give him a good quality of life. I wish he could tell me how he feels and what he needs. Hopefully we can get through this and make his health a little better. My coach said "lots of people take heart medicine and live for a long time, why would cats be any different?" I hope that is true.

Courtesy and Post Its

(January 24 update...persistence pays off; if you don't hear back just keep emailing!)

On my ride today I got to thinking about courtesy. Sometimes, I notice that common courtesy seems to be lacking in our society. As a rider, I always try to have courtesy for others on the road. I ride to the right, listen for cars, call out my position if I come upon other bikers and generally try to stay out of the way.  Some cars are courteous and give me plenty of room when they pass and do so slowly and safely. Interestingly, I am surprised by some cars that I would expect to be a little less courteous---like big supped up trucks with loud engines and super big wheels. Often, they slow down the most and give me a lot of space when they pass. I often think it is because I am a chick riding a bike but that is a subject for another blog....

There are also those cars who lack any sort of patience and go blasting by you like where ever they are going is more important than anybody else on the road and slowing down for two seconds would totally throw off their day. Recently, I had a car drive into a 10 foot wide bike lane on purpose while blasting his horn and flipping the bird out the window.  I was not even in the traffic lane and was not impeding him/her in any way. Come on...really?!?!

Ultimately, the reason the subject of courtesy was on my mind today was because of a situation I am dealing with on the sponsorship front. In the fall I began the process of contacting companies I wanted to partner with for 2013.  I came to an agreement with one company and I was excited to be working with them this coming year.  After a series of emails back and forth I followed up a couple weeks later and got no response. I figured it was no big deal since the holidays were close and just decided to email again after Thanksgiving.  No response.  More emails, a few calls. Nada. No deliveries from UPS or FedEx. Just COMPLETE RADIO SILENCE. (And I did confirm that my contact still works at the company...)

I deserve a response.  Even if they have to rescind the offer.  I deserve to hear from them. I did not pursue other opportunities because I had made agreement with this company IN WRITING. Sponsorship product is limited in triathlon.  Especially at my "level." At this point in the game companies have allocated their budgets.

Basically, I just want this company to respond and tell me the truth. Bad or good. But DO NOT just say nothing.  It reminds me of an episode of Sex in the City, The Post Always Sticks Twice. Carrie says,  "There is a good way to break up with someone and it doesn't include a post it."

In my case, there is a way to let me know you don't want to work with me and it DOES NOT INCLUDE IGNORING MY EMAILS AND PHONE CALLS.

Luckily, none of the above stops me from training and racing fast so I will continue to train and get ready for my first race of the year, Escape from Alcatraz on March 3.  Hoping for a heat wave....